May 8, 2009
Posted and written by
Hey y’all. The Art Chicago and Next art fairs took place last weekend at the Merchandise Mart. You know what that means…MAKEOVERS!
I wanted to share some pictures from the No-Coast booth at Next, where the makeovers took place, and where B-E-A-U-T-Y WAS BEGOTTEN:
This group of young kids came by, and the girls dared some of the boys to subject themselves to a makeover. The boys kept insisting that they weren’t gay, nor did they want to ‘look gay’ after their makeover. This left me puzzled– What’s gay about beauty? What makes them think I’m gay? Is it because I’m beautiful? Yup, that must be it.
‘Til next time,
March 9, 2009
Art Fair Tips from New York:
The Armory & Volta
Just got back from the New York fairs; it was fabulous! The parties were just crazy! The art-myehhh. Everything is fabulous in New York…until you run out of cash. The fairs aren’t cheap y’all. But you know your girl lil elote don’t let a lil thang like money hold me down-I break those motha-effing chains-YAHHHH!!!!!
Like the song says, “Don’t be fooled by all these rocks that I got, I’m still, I’m still lil’ elote from the block.” To be exact, I’m from the mean streets of Queens-represent! HEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY. That’s right, so I’ve still got a little hustle-game in me, and I’m gon give y’all some tips to get past the gatekeepers at the fairs for little to nothing-listen up children:
You gotta walk-like you’re on the runway. Remind yourself, “I am a star! These bitches ain’t got nothing on me!” Anyways, walk-fiercely, right past those bitches at the front taking tickets or checking wristbands. After all, only the masses have time for checkpoints! This method works best when you’ve got a tight outfit and you’re fully accessorized-like an upper-east side WASP, like you’re going to buy some art. Make sure your hair and nails are all did, pat your weave; also, giant sunglasses help, “I’m not looking at you, I’m looking past you, bitch!”
This second method takes a little bit more nerve and some stamina: Run your ass off, right through the checkpoint. You should try to get a decent running start, then fly like the wind-like the time yo daddy had a little too much hennesy and he’s about to open a can of whup-ass on yo mommy and the kids. If a bitch tries to stop you, cry, scream, and yell “get off me you Racist, Sexist, Classist bitch!” whatever you can throw at them.
Obtain a press/VIP pass. This requires some prior research. Name-drop your ass off. You’re an artist, but who isn’t? So get one of the pamphlets for the fair and read the gallery names-a suprising # of them are self-named, so say you’re a personal friend of say, Kavi Gupta, David Zwirner, or Marianne Boesky. Also, can’t forget to let them know who you are: “I’m Terrence Koh, goddamit!”
As a last resort, I suggest rubbing some shit on yourself. I know, I know-nasty; but they don’t call it hustlin’ for nothing’. A friend of mine told me a sure-fire tactic for making people think you’re crazy is to present yourself covered in shit (’cause sometimes people can’t see you’re crazy on the inside). Hopefully, no one will want to touch, look, smell, or be near you. You are exempt from all the tenets and checkpoints of civilized society. But then again, it’s an art fair. “Is it art?” people will wonder. Hell the fuck yes! Now, Move aside bitches! Respect!
I hope this was helpful y’all.
Till next time,
December 26, 2008
Finally ladies, enjoy the video art stylings of Todd Mattei’s God-fina:
Fuck Christmas, give me art…and while you’re at it, get me some more E&J!
December 26, 2008
As you may now know, I love stories and ideas in parts. My girl YJ took the GREs in New York, and it brought me to think about time as an oppressive constraint over one’s experience and agency. This is my kind of gripe with certain long-ass narrative so-called “video art” in art galleries, why can’t I fucking dictate my own experience of the artwork in my own time??? I wonder how one can digest full ideas–recieve them, process them through one’s own reality, and then apply those ideas to one’s life experiences through one sitting, one viewing, one post?…
Since liberating myself from the closet I continue to reject all forms of oppresion!! And THAT is why you’re getting three Christmas posts from me, babies.
Anyways, I was in New York last week; between hitting up old haunts of mine, I went to the New Museum, which has become one of my favorite art institutions in America, and I saw Elizabeth Peyton’s work. This bitch is what–like 2 years older than me and she’s already having a huge museum show…
She lectured at the Art Institute a few years back and in response to a question, or rather statement by I think, Lisa Wainwright: “What do you say about the assertion that you perpetuate unfair socioeconomic hierarchies [white/male/celebrity/financial priviledge] in your work?”
In true socially-isolating-IRRESPONSIBLE-ARTIST form, Peyton had this to say:
“I just paint what’s in front of me. I’m just an artist. I don’t need to justify this.”
Afterwords, bitch promptly ended the Q & A…That’s right! Don’t fuck with her! HAHAHA…DIVA!!! Well even still, at least Peyton’s work lends themselves to being viewed as jpegs–you know I can’t fault a girl who makes love to sexy white mans’, and lets the world download and make love to them to. Take note ladies: painting can be a form of masturbation and advocates its practice! Ha! OOOoo girl, let me get back to this post–WTF am I going on about…
Okay, well–it really is a shame about JFK Jr.; another lost sexy mans:
New York City:Glamour
homosexual loving…Girl, you so political! You go girl!
Y’know, the best part of the museum was this tucked away installation in a closet sized room by the back stairs…I ferget who it is by, and the experience cannot be translated through the web, much less with my dinky camera-phone.
I want this shit in my living room, UPGRADE my HOME-THEATER set-up…
Merry Christmas bitches…
Hey There, Chicago…and internet sattelites…lil elote here, long time…I haven’t posted anything in a while, letting the others take the reigns of posting items to this very dear blog.
I’ve been quite busy y’know–I am in the midst of the recording process for the single for my upcoming LP “I am…lil elote.” Check it out when it drops in the New Year. Its a really personal account of my rise in the art world. Take notes, kids and aspiring stars–it’s time to learn from Teacher!
Self-plugging aside, I want to share something with y’all: I woke up this afternoon at around 4:00pm and drank my coffee/breakfast, and the quiet aloneness of the holiday caused me to contemplate my artistic & personal growth, which I realized to be a process made possible by you all–the audience, my fans.
Here’s the first, in a three part holiday thank-you/love-you note from yours truly–lil elote