Minutes (Chicago) : Secrets in a Marriage

August 19, 2009

posted by Caroline Picard

marital secrets

OVERHEARD IN A CAFE:

Woman The First: Tom thinks Rick is a drunk.

Woman The Second: Who is Rick again?

The First: Rick. He married Diane–what was it, two years ago. Tom says Rick is the only friend he has who becomes a douchebag when he gets drunk.

The Second: Is that why Tom thinks he’s a drunk?

The First: No. We think he’s a drunk maybe because his face is so soft. It’s gotten really soft these days. And his eyes always seem a little red.

The Second: What do you mean he turns into a douchbag?

The First: You know, a douchbag. He just gets real douchey when he’s been drinking.

The Second: Like an asshole?

The First: No. A douchebag.

The Second: What does his wife think?

The First: I don’t think she notices. She never sees him drunk.

The Second: I thought they had people over all the time.

The First: They do, only she keeps a very regimented schedule and she doesn’t drink very much. People come over to their house and she drinks a beer and falls asleep on the couch. In the middle of everything. And keeps drinking and after an hour or so she wakes up and says goodnight and goes to sleep in the bedroom. He stays up for hours afterwards. He turns into a douchebag.

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