Minutes (Chicago)

August 12, 2009

posted by Caroline Picard


  • In the grocery story: A cross-eyed fellow, the one I generally see stocking the dairy section–he’s always been exceptionally friendly–he trotted past me towards another employee calling out with something in his hand, “Hey! Hey Rick! Did you see the Presidential Meatball?”
  • A shopgirl went into work yesterday with carpet burns on her knees. Her manager wouldn’t stop staring. Finally the girl said, “What?” “What yourself,” the manager said. “What? Seriously, what?” said the shopgirl. “You look dirty. You’re knees are dirty. How are you supposed to sell anything with such dirty knees?”
  • A man craned his way down the street and stopped near the brunch place. The man wore his sunglasses. He bumped into someone waiting outside. He lifted his sunglasses and addressed the stranger, “Is this the B– R–?” The stranger nodded, “Yes it is,” she said, she gestured to the sign above them. While following her gaze, he seemed to apprehend the sign. “You see I’m not wearing my contacts,” said that man and then as though an afterthought added, “Would you like some garlic?” t pulling a long clove of garlic out of his pocket, “It’s named after me.” Puzzled, the stranger replied, “O.K.” I watched the man go in the wrong door, entering the soap/mushroom/sex oil shop instead of the intended restaurant. The stranger put the garlic in her pocket and its tail poked out.

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