Tips for authors

January 27, 2009

Posted by Nick Sarno


Getting an original work of fiction published these days is nearly impossible. For many years, most fiction was printed at a loss to the publishers and recent developments in the industry have made the publishers less inclined to take any losses at all. Memoirs are still selling, but not all of us have been lucky enough to survive the Holocaust, say, or a life threatening addiction. Here are a few easy steps to take to get your work of fiction published.


1. Fake a memoir. Tell your story, whatever it is. Just be sure to tell it in the first person. 

2. Write a screenplay based on your “memoir”. (Don’t worry…screenplays are terribly easy to write.)

3. Sell your “memoir” and screenplay as a package. 

4. Get caught. This is easy. You don’t even have to do anything. 

5. Your publisher will cancel your book. Don’t worry! A team of screenwriters are currently working on your movie and, besides, you’re getting loads of press.

6. Base a novel on your screenplay. Basically, just take your memoir and put it in the third person.


And…presto! You’re now a writer of fiction!


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